PAGE 1

(A wide shot that takes up the top third of the page, roughly. The scene is either a quaint chucklebunker bar setting. Serpaz is on a stage in front of a mic stand, wearing a funny bow-tie. Through horned silhouettes we see various members of the other main trolls are sitting in set up seats for them.)

SERPAZ
...and that's when i was like, girder? i barely know her!!!

SERPAZ
thank you!!! i'm here all wice!!! i'm the sans serif around these parts, after all!

(Arcjec is looking like he doesn't expect much of this event. He's just sitting in the audience, waiting for this all to crumble.)

SERPAZ
lots of goofs and gaffs to be had at helilos open mic night so lets welcome our first comic!!!

(Arcjec looks surprised and a little betrayed. Taz is sitting next to him and gives him a firm nudge with her elbow.)

SERPAZ
arcjec voorat lay a rib tickler on us!!!!!


PAGE 2

(Arcjec is on stage, hands in his hoodie pocket.)

ARCJEC
I came as a mere observer and am now plunged into a cold storm of audience expectation. Could've used a weather forecast on that one, emcee.

(Serpaz plays a rimshot off-panel.)

ARCJEC
That wasn't a joke! Stop that!!!

(Albion is on stage, reading off of cue cards.)

ALBION
...you see its funny because the purrbeast wants the steamed ham but cannot speak the appropriate language to request it—

(Murrit is on stage, playing sound bites on a tape recorder.)

MURRIT
*Have a-* *STEAMED CLAM* *iiit's retro!!!* *pbbbbbbt* *zoink!*

(The stage is empty. Jentha speaks from off stage.)

JENTHA
N NO N NO N NO YOU CAN'T M MAKE ME I REFUSE TO ENTERTAIN THIS T T TRAIN WRECK WITH YOU UNFUNNY F FREAKS

(Calder is on stage and is raising a finger, ready to lecture.)

CALDER
Here's the thing about women—

(Calder is suddenly pelted with tomatoes. Murrit speaks off screen.)

MURRIT
BOOOOb


PAGE 3

(Serpaz is cringing a little. This isn't going well. Maybe her head is in her hands and she's not looking at the stage.)

SERPAZ
not good....... super not good—

(Talald speaks from off screen, Serpaz is shocked and offended.)

TALALD (OS)
now who here has heard the one about the moobeast beaten to death with trinkets???

SERPAZ
what?? huh???

(Talald is on stage now, with Laivan who was about to walk on stage. He's wearing a bowtie too, and is holding a ventriloquist doll. It's a wolf.)

LAIVAN
Uh- I was about to do something-

TALALD
talk about a knickknack paddy whack am i right????

SERPAZ
what are YOU doing here!?!?

(Talald does not look guilty in the slightest, and doesn't even look like she knows what's going on.)

TALALD
well gosh golly!!! i heard there was an open mic night and couldnt help myself!!!!!!

TALALD
its like shooting a fish in a barrel of laughs!!!!!

TALALD
with all the grouchy faces in here i cant tell sardines from sardonics

(There's some laughter from the audience. Serpaz is distraught.)

TALALD
and what's even the DEAL with that moon shuttle food????? i mean its not a moon shuttle and it's not food!!!!!!

(Laivan leans over to Serpaz, who is sitting there grumpily with her arms crossed and her cheeks puffed.)

LAIVAN
For what it's worth- most of taste is actually smell-

LAIVAN
the pressurized air cabins in moon shuttles makes odor receptors not function- thus making food taste twice as bland-

(Occeus leans in on her other side, stoic as always.)

OCCEUS
He's correct