Murrit: Your shades need to be extra worse. Make the most gaudy, unusable eyewear at your disposal.
The ingenuity and panache with which you make things exponentially worse whenever possible grants you the power to craft the 5 O'CLOCK SOMEWHERE.
It's like a tropical neon light show during happy hour on the worst day of your life. Probably works better as a distress signal in the case of overdosing from bottomless Dewgaritas than actual eyewear.
DRAWBACK: Unable to find salt shakers in a 65 expanse radius.