Arcjec: Examine Computer.

Before you answer, you take a short moment to move the junk off of your desk, grab your keyboard, and examine your COMPUTER. You have spent many a lifeless hour sitting here and doing absolutely nothing. It's actually pretty great.

Until things start happening. Then it's not.

Much like the rest of your spaces, your desktop has various OLD PICTURES and FILES scattered wherever. You make sure to cover the screen so you don't ever have to SEE THEM. Your virtual hivekeeping is further impeded by the fact that, over sweeps of carelessly browsing the web, you have accumulated quite a number of NASTY VIRUSES. You get FAKE ADVERTISEMENTS FOR PRODUCTS YOU DIDN'T WIN on a nearly constant basis.

The SKORPE CHAT CLIENT is open. Truth be told, the thing is laden with its fair share of complicated strings, broken code walls and a completely whack update schedule that doesn't seem to affect anything one way or the other.

The main draw lies in the fact that, despite being clunky at best, it is remarkably CUSTOMIZABLE. For starters, it allows for variations on ONLINE STATUS. CLOYING, FORSTRAUGHT, CALCITRANT and INCOGNIZABLE are the four regular settings, but there's a sizeable array of more esoteric emotion-like displays, if one were so inclined.

SKORPE users can also decorate the program with various ALLITERATIVE THEMES relating to various hobbies and interests, from the trivial to the obscure. Anything you could possibly think of is there, somewhere. Even the ones who arguably shouldn’t exist in the first place.

You, however, keep the built in "SYSTEMATIC STOCK" theme, because these idiotic bells and whistles do nothing for you.

You are set to CALCITRANT at ALL TIMES, which effectively mutes all notifications. You refuse to be subjected to the unruly din of a ping with every single message. Your system also delivers a blunt, professional and automatic note to any and all parties who attempt to contact you.

Though, as always, that doesn't deter this one from chatting it up with you. Or any of the others, for that matter.

This is a good enough time to give in, since it may very well be your last chance to walk away from a social interaction on the right foot.

Only it won't be.