This thing is just a dumb-looking squeezy box anyway. Nothing more to it. You definitely don't enjoy the sound of it. Or the way it squishes. Or pressing the keys. Nope, none of that. You would never call it fun, that's for sure. In fact, you never have ANY fun at all! Fun's not allowed anywhere near the vicinity of your personal agenda. You are a hard worker with strong core values that you would never betray in a moment of weakness.
And you're definitely not any good at playing it, either. Not at all! You are so stupid bad at the accordion it's ridiculous.