Taz: Admire poster of Hulk Hogan.

The man himself.

Starting from the bottom, TERRENCE BOLLEA was eventually tossed into a RESENT-GRADE TORTURE FORT KEY MATCH following a disagreement with his hero and recently instated FORTMASTER, the champion of the RUTHLESS EXPEDITIONARY KNOCKOUT TOURNAMENT, over the worthless nature of his facial hair.

Several gruesome hours later, and he was able to murder his powerful assailant and take the key from his neck, emerging victorious and taking the Fortmaster title for himself. All of this without activating his FOLLOWER CHUCKLEVOODOO, not even for a second — a previously unseen display of martial prowess, and one that has never been replicated since. After he was baptized with the blood of his former high brother, he gave himself the name HULK HOGAN and got started on his rather ambitious quest to PERSONALLY MEET HIS MAKERS.

This story is common knowledge within the Mirthamaniac ranks. You know it, and everybody else knows it too, because "The Hulkster" goes on and on about the HULKAMANIA he's inspired every night on his talk show. You can actually hear it blaring from your TV downstairs right now, as tuning into the channel is MANDATORY.

The guy has single handedly overtaken the creed on EGO and BLIND DEVOTION alone. Not even his sacrilegious team-up with those HARBINGERS from a RIVAL FAITH did anything to shake off the spell he seems to have cast on his fanbase. And let's not even get started on the whole "helping usher in a wave of demons from the HORRORCORE DIMENSION" thing.

As much as you can respect his TENACITY, one day you just might have to kill him for all of this.